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Justice League Dark #22 - A Review

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Something about Justice League Dark #22 clicked with me in a way that the previous chapters of The Trinity War didn't.  I have yet to put a finger on precisely what that something is, though I have pondered it as extensively as The Question himself seeking an answer.  Ultimately, I suspect it comes down to this being the first issue where all the characters are behaving like the heroes and anti-heroes I love.

Ignoring the New 52 origins of The Phantom Stranger (who is no longer a stranger) and The Question, this issue gives us visions of these characters as I think they should be in terms of personality and function.  The Phantom Stranger shows up promising aid yet offering little information save where to go next.  The Question shows up in the middle of a high-security facility to tell our heroes they're barking up the wrong tree and pointing them in the direction of the Secret Society of Super-Villains.  And then there's a host of smaller scenes (too many to recall completely) where the characters are allowed to be themselves and bounce off one another, such as when Wonder Woman manhandles an indifferent John Constantine and he, in retaliation, tries to magically entrap her.
   

The action of this issue moves briskly but smoothly.  Though there is some dissension between various heroes as to precisely what actions they should be taking, actions are still taken regardless.  No time is wasted on petty slug-fests for the sake of slug-fests and the focus on their respective goals is maintained throughout.

Jeff Lemire's love and knowledge of these characters comes through in every panel of this book.  More, this issue manages the neat trick of recapping the story thus far for those readers who might only be reading Justice League Dark and none of the other Justice League titles - something you don't often see in the third chapter of a multi-book mini-series!  Lemire also sets up the story for this month's issue of Constantine without breaking stride for a moment. 




Mikel Janin's artwork is, in a word, phenomenal.  The line work of this issue is clean with all the character designs crisp and distinctive, even in the long-range.  The inks are subtle - little more than division lines at times - with soft shading in the coloring being used to alter the visual tone of the character's faces.  I'm a fan of all the artists working on The Trinity War but if I had to pick the best of the series so far, Janin would be the winner.

Bottom Line - if you haven't given Justice League Dark or The Trinity War a try, this would be a fine issue to start with.  Good art.  Good writing.  Great character moments.

Doctor Who #11 (IDW Vol. 3) - A Review

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Part Three of Sky Jacks continues smoothly from where Part Two ended, without pausing for a moment.  Trapped in a seemingly endless limbo on-board a steam-powered World War II bomber, The Doctor and Clara have solved the mystery of where they are and why they can't summon The Doctor's ship - The TARDIS.  Naturally, the answers (i.e. they're somewhere inside The TARDIS) just lead to further questions as our heroes quickly find themselves under attack and at the mercy of a new enemy. 


Fans of the show may complain that this story by Andy Diggle and Eddie Robson seems derivative of the second half of Series 7, with Diggle's new villainous mastermind seeming to be an ersatz copy of the main villain of that series.  While the similarities are there and this story has quite a bit in common with the episode Journey To The Center of The TARDIS, one can hardly fault Diggle and Robson for the similarities given that they must have had this story written months before the new series ever aired.  Taken on its' own merits, this is a crackerjack Doctor Who story with plenty of tension and humor to thrill and amuse the reader.


I've said before that I don't find the artwork of Andy Kuhn aesthetically pleasing.  That is not to say that it is bad - merely that as a fan I prefer cleaner, less-stylized art in my comics.  Yet I cannot deny that Kuhn's style with its' heavy inks and exaggerated characters is a perfect fit to the dirty, Steampunk aesthetic of Diggle and Robson's story.

The Deep: Here Be Dragons #1 - A Review

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The Deep: Here Be Dragons #1 is not so much a comic book as it is an artifact from another time and place - a hypothetical Earth 57 where Stan Lee had been asked by his publisher to craft a team of superheroes to compete with The Sea Devils rather than The Justice League.  And in fifty years time, when the preserved head of Alan Moore inevitably begins working on a League of Extraordinary Gentleman volume uniting all comic book heroes everywhere into one universe, we'll likely find The Nekton Family working alongside The Richards Clan and The Parrs to stop Namor and a resurrected Syndrome from unleashing an army of undersea monsters on the surface world. 


Comparisons to The Fantastic Four and The Incredibles are inevitable, despite The Nekton Family not having any superpowers.  Tom Taylor's story is reminiscent of Mark Waid's work with both the aforementioned super-families, focusing as it does on a family of explorers who investigate the dark places on the edge of the map labeled "here be dragons".  The characters are strictly stock - you've seen them all before in countless other family-friendly works, from the excitable genius son to the teenage daughter who longs for normalcy.  Thankfully, Taylor keeps things fresh with a healthy dose of humor as the action advances and parents will find themselves able to enjoy the story as much as their kids.


Were I asked to describe James Brouwer's artwork in a single word, I could only call it animated.  Brouwer's style is lively and cartoonish, leaving every panel looking like a still from some high-quality animated movie project.  This further adds to the sensation that this book has come to us from a world where Pixar Studios created an animated version of The Deep starring The Rock as the voice of Will Nekton. 

After reading this first issue, I think I'd like to see that movie.  But I'll settle for picking up the next issue of The Deep if that's all this Earth has to offer me.  I think kids of all ages with a love of adventure will enjoy it as much as I did. 

Hawkeye - Annual #1 - A Review

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Sorry, Clint Barton fans! Once again your regularly scheduled comic book has been subverted!  For Hawkeye Annual #1 focuses upon Clint's sidekick/partner/something, Kate Bishop!

This issue is all about Kate striking out on her own in Los Angeles.  Without her mentor.  Without her team.  Without her rich dad.  Sadly, Kate is about to discover how difficult things can be when you're all alone and - suddenly - without resources.  For Madame Masque - whom Kate was not exactly gentle to in Hawkeye #4& Hawkeye #5 - is out for revenge and has ample power to make Kate's life difficult.    


It's redundant for me to speak of Matt Fraction's writing on this series at this point.  Either you hate his knowingly smart subversion of the classic action movie cliches or you love them.  I love them.  I love how Kate isn't fooled for a moment by Madame Masque's attempts to win her confidence in disguise and is portrayed as being smart and competent enough to cope with a revenge-minded villain far more easily than she is sudden destitution and joblessness. 


I likened Javier Pulido's previous Hawkeye work to the second coming of Jack Kirby.  Seven months later, I stand by that statement, though this issue has little of the dynamic action that usually defines the term Kirbyesque.  Yet there is a smooth simplicity of function to Pulido's artwork that is reminiscent of The King and the book maintains a classic Marvel feel throughout. 

Latest News on Arrow, Amazon and a Flash TV Show!

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SOURCE:The CW gives The Flash his own TV show, launched out of Arrow

So, here's the long and the short of it.

1. Barry Allen will be a reoccurring character on Arrow in Season Two.  No word on who will be playing him, though.
2. He's being put on the show in expectation of spinning off into a The Flash series next year.
3. Amazon - CW's proposed Wonder Woman series - is on-hold as "the script is not exactly what we wanted, and with an iconic character like Wonder Woman, we have to get it right."

My thoughts?  Generally positive.  We already knew they were planning on branching out into the larger DC Comics universe with Arrow.  A spin-off of some kind was inevitable and throwing an outlaw Ollie Queen against the by-the-book cop like Barry Allen would offer a lot of drama.  And bonus - if they decide to take the same idea used in JLA: Year One, you can have Barry as a love interest for Laurel.

I'm less pleased about the news that Amazon has been put on the back-burner in favor of them fast-tracking Barry Allen into a TV show.  Still, I am comforted that they are apparently determined to see a Wonder Woman show done properly and not rush it to completion just to do it.  Still, I can't believe a Wonder Woman show aimed at a youth demographic is as difficult as some believe it to be.  In fact, this teen librarian has just the idea on how to do it!

Just take the basic idea of the Silver Age - Amazon Princess sent into Man's World - and transpose it onto a Dirty Little Liars/The Clique style private school.  Diana is the new foreign exchange student - a daughter of some vaguely defined royal family - and you can have all the standard CW teen drama with Diana learning about American culture AND learning how to become the hero she will be someday as she deals with peer pressure, date rapists and bullying.  She graduates after a season or two and the show moves into a more traditional action-show starring the Wonder Woman we all know and love.

You can have that one for free, Warner Brothers! 

Constantine #5 - A Review

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You really have to hand it to Jeff Lemire.  At a time when most monthly comics are "written for the trade", he still makes the effort to make every issue of the books he writes accessible to new readers on the off-chance it might be someone's first.  This is especially notable - and important - with a comic like Constantine #5, where the odds are particularly high that the issue will be picked up by readers who only bought it because it's a tie-in to the Trinity War storyline.


Those hypothetical new readers are in for a treat, for Jeff Lemire is a skillful writer as well as a generous one.  The story is vintage John Constantine, as everyone's favorite magical conman steals the power of Shazam on the grounds that a teenager like Billy Batson running around with that much unchecked magic is dangerous with everything else going on in the world at the moment.  By sheer dumb luck, one of John's many enemies chooses this moment to attack him with a demonically-empowered minion and hilarity ensues.


Artist Renato Guedes has shown his skill in depicting the gore and horror of a typical Constantine story in earlier issues.  This book gives him the chance to show he's no slouch when it comes to drawing the usual superhero shenanigans.  Despite this, Guedes' typical shadowy mystique remains unchanged and the aura of mystery that usually shrouds this book remains even as John is forced into a pair of tights and reduced to punching monsters. 

Peter Capaldi Is The New Doctor!

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SOURCE: BBC - Exclusive Video: Peter Capaldi is the New Doctor!

So who is Peter Capaldi?  Doctor Who/Torchwood fans likely recognize him from the Series Four Doctor Who story Fires of Pompeii where he played the marble merchant Caecilius or for his role as John Frobisher in the Torchwood movie Children of Earth.  The 55-year old Scottish actor/director is probably best known in the UK for the role of  Malcolm Tucker in the BBCcomedy series The Thick of It.

So yeah.  Another white male as The Doctor.  Comments? 

Power of The Valkyrie, Part Two

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PREVIOUSLY, ON POWER OF THE VALKYRIE...

Susan (no last name given) is a young doctor who somehow got through medical school without ever learning how to cope with people dying.  As she's driving home one night after storming out of the ER, a bearded man in armor falls out of the sky and creates a smoking crater in front of her.  It's the Norse god Odin and when he touches her he bequeaths some sort of power to her.

We find out in a flashback that Odin was forcibly teleported out of Valhalla by his Secret Service when Loki decides to crash the party where Odin was supposed to give this vague magic power to a skilled warrior maiden.  Said warrior maiden is not given a name. Both this warrior maiden and Loki show up on Earth the next day to kill Susan and take back a sword that Odin apparently gave her off-camera.  Also Susan is now being called Susanne. 

Suzy is knocked out by Loki, but suddenly her soul emerges from her body wearing hot pants and a steel corset.  Also, there's suddenly a bunch of other impractically-clad warrior maidens.  Then, just as suddenly, Loki and the nameless warrior woman are back in Loki's basement, where she complains about having been disgraced and named an enemy of Asgard.  Loki tells her to quit whining because the war is not yet over.

Confused?  Read the full review of Part One.  It might help, but I doubt it.  Because it's just going to get more confusing from here.

Now... Part Two!


Our story opens in the thick of the action, with our heroine fighting Loki in his demon form.  It's immediately obvious that this book still doesn't have an editor and that the writer isn't using any form of spell-check, because Sulfur is spelled with an 'e'.  And no - that isn't an acceptable alternative spelling or the British English spelling.  I checked two different dictionaries and did a Google search, which mostly brought up Slipknot fan pages where the song "Sulfur" was spelled wrong and one Marvel Comics fan page devoted toward "The Silver Sulfer".

Anyway, our heroine gets her ass kicked and Loki takes the sword.  He's about to cut her head off when she suddenly wakes up in a hospital bed.  Yes, that's right folks!  It was all a dream!  And our heroine's name has changed yet again!


So now she's Suzanne with a Z.  Fine.  Let's see how long this name change lasts.

Suzanne wants to go home but her colleague, Dr. Dodson, tells her that she's still running a fever and he wants to keep her overnight just to be safe.  He also tells her that, for some reason, the FBI wants to talk to her about the car accident.  Suzanne can't remember anything about what happened and Dodson agrees she's in no state to be talking to anyone, even if she could remember anything.

So Dodson goes out to tell the FBI agents to come back tomorrow and.... what fresh hell is this?!

I think the Fox Network will be suing somebody along with Marvel Comics.

Amazingly, nobody out in the hallway notices the sudden light show seconds later, as Odin emerges through a glowing portal.  Here we see that the writers have put the same craft into writing pseudo-Shakesperean English that they did into the rest of the script so far, as Odin thanks the gods that "thee survived".  Shouldn't that be "ye survived"?  Also, does anyone else think it's weird Odin is thanking himself and his family for Suzanne's survival?


The oddly familiar looking FBI agents get fed up, claiming that Suzanne has been consorting with terrorists and The Patriot Act gives them the right to go into a hospital room to question someone without a warrant and against a doctor's wishes.  Also, there's suddenly two extra F.B.I. Agents.  It's at this point that we find out the writers of this book are just as bad at writing proper American English as they are pseudo-Shakespearean English.


"Suzy's not working with any terrorists.  Even if she did, she would report it."

It would be okay if Dr. Dodson said "Suzy's not working with any terrorists." and just left it at that.  Or he could have said "Suzy's not working with any terrorists.  And even if she had made contact with them, she would have reported it."  But the way the two sentences are paired together makes it sound like Dr. Dodson is saying that Suzy would report herself for working with terrorists.

Meanwhile, in the opulent basement of Valhalla, Loki and the nameless warrior woman from last issue are plotting.  And lo - we finally get a name for our main female antagonist!  Emu!  Yes, like the bird....


Civil War? Hey, we don't need your Civil War, Loki! Or AvX either! 
 
*sighs* Where to begin?
 
 How about with the last page from last issue?



1. "They wouldn't dare suspect your true loyalties." - Given that she was fighting alongside you when you tried killing Suzanne the day before, I suspect they might.  There's a reason Odin is called "The All-Seeing" after all.

2. '"Tis not the time to reveal your true nature, Emu." -  Even if Odin didn't notice Emu's working with you the day before, it's a bit late to be thinking of that, Loki.  If she's already been branded a traitor to Asgard, I think they know her true nature.

3. "If Thor even suspects thy disloyalty, it will be our undoing." - I think this is a typo and that Emu is meant to be saying "If Thor even suspects MY disloyalty..." since apparently she hasn't been branded a traitor yet and is still somehow working with Loki in secret.  Even if the sentence is taken straight, since when does it make any kind of sense for Thor not to be suspicious of Loki?  Particularly since Loki just went into Odin's party room a day earlier and declared his hostile intent?  Thor's a bit thick but even he's not that dumb.

Speaking of Thor, the next scene takes us back to the nice part of Valhalla.  We see Odin introduce Suzanne to Thor and announce his intent to have Thor train her in the use of the Valkyrie power.  Because of course there's no way a woman could be given this kind of power without a man teaching her how to use it!  That would be silly!  Not quite as silly as Odin deciding to go ahead and let the woman who got this power by accident keep it instead of passing it on to the Asgardian warrior woman who had been training to inherit the power and was seconds away from getting it before Loki interfered.... but still pretty damn silly.



We soon find out that Thor has more than one reason for questioning his father's wisdom.  Not only does handing this power off to a mere human seem foolish but Emu - the woman who was meant to be getting the power in the first place - is Thor's girlfriend.  Showing surprising sensitivity for a Viking male, Thor does try to comfort Emu and assure her that while he must abide by his dad's wishes, he does not agree with them.  For all the good it does him...


(And yes - more bad grammar. "It's offending" should be "It's offensive."  And boy is this grammar offensive!)

Meanwhile, Odin asks Suzanne if people still speak of the gods of Asgard in the Earthly realm.  You'd think the All-Seeing All-Father would already know that but - in case you hadn't noticed - this take on Odin doesn't seem particularly wise or all-knowing.  In fact, I'm starting to suspect he couldn't find his own backside with both hands and a torch.  Regardless, the two are quickly joined by a magical beast that Odin says can only bond with a Valkyrie - The Creature Pegasus!


Is it worth pointing out that Pegasus is a specific character from Greek myth - not Norse?  Should I note that nowhere in Norse Mythology does it say that Valkyrie's horses have wings and that most of the artwork of the time seems to depict their horses without wings?  Does it really matter given that the bastardized mythology of this world has already given us the Norse god Loki taking the form of an Abrahamic demon and that Valhalla seems to be used interchangeably with Asgard to refer to Odin's land rather than his mead hall?

Yes!  It does matter!

*sighs* Anyway, a guard shows up at that point with a wolf's-head medallion he found on the borders of Valhalla.  Or Asgard.  This, coupled with reports of a black wolf being seen nearby, can only mean one thing - Loki is out and about.  Suzanne hops on Pegasus' back and announces that she'll go on a patrol to see what's going on.  Odin says she's not ready but she ignores him. One page later, Suzanne is confronting demons in midair and dueling like a pro as she thinks about how she used to ride horses and get hurt all the time as a kid.


So she went from thinking she was dreaming and not believing what was happening to riding a flying horse and fighting demons within the span of one page?

If this turns out to be another dream sequence, I'll be very put out.

Anyway, Suzanne slays the demon, leaves his corpse to fall to the ground below and suddenly notices a strange castle that is calling to her.  And it's at this point that Pegasus loses his wings.


You know, with all the continuity problems in the writing, I'm amazed we went this long without a mistake in the artwork. 


Suzanne goes inside the castle and starts prowling around as we find out that the writers have learned how to spell sulfur properly.  Granted, they seem to think that sulfur is naturally hot.  And Suzanne says that Odin said Thor was missing when he never actually DID say anything about that at any point in the comic earlier.  But credit where credit is due - at least they're spelling everything properly for the moment, even if their grasp of science and continuity stinks on ice.

While snooping around, Suzanne is ambushed with an electrical attack as she walks through a doorway.  And so our comic ends with Emu - now apparently possessing the power of Thor - demanding that Suzanne hand over the sword.  Even though she apparently has a much better power now...



I don't have it in me to outline all the reasons this comic sucks again.   Let's just say that it sucks and leave it at that as I contemplate whether or not it's worth going on and covering the second half of this abysmal storyline.

Power of The Valkyrie, Part Three

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PREVIOUSLY, ON POWER OF THE VALKYRIE...

Our heroine, who I think the writers have finally agreed to called Suzanne, was hospitalized after having a close encounter with the fiery demon Loki and the irate amazon Emu.  Suzanne is spirited away to Valhalla by the All-Father Odin just seconds before Agents Scully and Mulder show up, claiming they need to question her about the terrorist attack that destroyed her car.  In Valhalla, we learn that Odin has chosen Suzanne to receive the titular Power Of The Valkyrie and chosen Thor to train her.

Thor is less than pleased about this because his lady love Emu was supposed to get said power.  He is even less pleased after Emu attacks him and takes his power.  While that's going on, Suzanne is presented to "The Creature Pegasus", who immediately takes a shine to her - a sign she is meant to be the Valkyrie, according to Odin.  When a messenger brings word that Loki has been sighted nearby, Suzanne hops on Pegasus to ride off and look for trouble over Odin's objections.  She kills a demon in mid-flight, Pegasus keeps losing and regaining his wings between panels and the comic ends as Suzanne decides to explore a mysterious dark castle and is ambushed by Emu.

Confused?  Read Parts One and Part TwoIt won't help in the least but it may be amusing.


Part Three opens with... a flashback to Suzanne's childhood?


Yes - halfway through our story and we're just NOW getting our first glimpse into our heroine's past and the first sliver of a motivation for what she does and who she is.  Her sister got hit by a car chasing after a ball Suzanne threw into the street, the incident made Suzanne want to become a nurse so she could heal people and she remembers the incident every time she sees blood.  You'd think this would have come up at some point when she was going through nursing school but if I start picking apart everything about this comic that doesn't make sense, we'll be here all night.

Suzanne is stirred from her flashback by someone saying her name.  She repeats it and and Emu asks if that is her name.  It's a fair question given the lax continuity so far, but shockingly her name remains Suzanne for the moment.  Yet this comic finds new ways to disappoint us, with Thor's dialogue balloons being jacked up.

Either they messed up the word balloons or Thor is practicing his ventriloquism.


Suzanne picks up the sword and gets ready to fight Emu.  It is then that Suzanne discovers why it is a bad idea to attack someone who commands the power of lightning with a metal object.  Even if it is a magic metal object.


Actually, Odin never said a thing about Emu conspiring with Loki to Suzanne last issue.  In fact, it was pretty clear Odin had no idea Emu was conspiring with Loki.  Why?  Well, she was still at liberty in Valhalla when he returned with Suzanne.  Also, he sent Thor to go find Emu so he could tell her of his decision regarding who would get the Power of The Valkyrie. 

Thankfully, Thor is there to save Suzanne from becoming a scantily clad lightning rod.  He tells Suzanne what the TRUE Power of The Valkyrie is - raising the dead!  Suddenly, Suzanne starts hearing voices begging to be cut loose and she does so.  A horde of ghostly vikings show up and all the torches in the room go out.


In the midst of this chaos, Suzanne goes berserk.  Emu pleads for mercy, saying the was only trying to save Suzanne from corruption at the hands of a power humans are not meant for.  Suzanne impales her on the sword and Emu dies, muttering that Suzanne is now doomed to become Odin's pawn in the never-ending war with Loki.
 


Thor, who seems remarkably calm considering he just saw his girlfriend die, explains The Power of The Valkyrie and the role of the Valkyrie in Asgard's army.  He also confirms that what Emu said about Suzanne being a pawn in the battle to come... even though he had no idea what Odin's motivations in asking him to train Suzanne were last issue.

That's a rather big plot hole.  So is Thor's speaking of the role of The Valkyrie in the singular as if it were a title then going on to speak of multiple valkyries and how they gathered the souls of dead warriors.  And how could Odin have meant to give Suzanne the power when their meeting was a random accident in the first issue and he'd have had no way of knowing of Emu's plotting with Loki at that point in the story?

Continuity?  What's that?


Suzanne, showing the same even-temper and foresight we've seen throughout this series, gets royally pissed about the idea of being manipulated and forced to serve in a fight that is not hers.  She ditches Thor, flies back to Valhalla and tells Odin she doesn't need his civil war.  She also goes from being soaked in blood to squeaky clean in the span of two panels as she gives Odin a bargain - let her go back to Earth and she'll hide the sword where no one can find it. 


Why does Odin agree to this?  Can't he just take back the power?  He was holding it before!  And it's not like he couldn't find some other random woman if he's really that determined to have a human handle this power.  Heck, he could give the power to one of those dancing wenches who were performing back in the first issue.  I'm sure they'd be willing to serve! *rimshot*

Suzanne wakes up in the hospital, hastily scribbles a note to Dr. Dodson explaining that she decided to go home and gets in her car to...


... wait a minute!  Her car was destroyed back in the first issue!  And her car was a red two-door sports car with a personalized plate that said SUZY - not a bluie four-door!  Does she have two cars?  How?  Nurses don't make that much!  Is she renting a car?  Borrowing it from a friend?  These are perfectly valid questions, comic!  Answer me!

*sighs* Anyway, Suzanne drives out to some lake, where she throws the sword into the water.  Yes, this comic has already savaged Greek, Norse and Abrahamic myth.  Let's mix in some Arthurian Legend while we're at it!  Let no fandom remain unpissed! 


Speaking of pissed-off fandoms, we finally get an explanation for why Mulder and Scully having been hunting for Suzanne.  The good news is that this comic isn't about to become some horrible X-Files tie-in comic.  The bad news is that they are shape-shifting demons in Loki's employ.  We never do find out how Suzanne managed to get past them when they were supposed to be watching the hospital but we do find out that Loki is somehow aware that the sword is now on Earth and that he will be arriving shortly with his armies to retrieve it.


One issue left, kids!  Can you take it? 

Trillium #1 - A Review

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Reading Jeff Lemire's Trillium, I can't help but feel that I'm holding a relic from another time and place.  I had the same sensation when I read Lemire's earlier graphic novel The Underwater Welder.  As that story seemed to be a tribute to the stories Rod Serling told on The Twilight Zone and Night Gallery, Trillium reads like a lost story by Ray Bradbury or Frederik Pohl for Galaxy Magazine or Weird Tales.  I'm not enough of a classic science-fiction geek to cite any specific influences but I do believe Trillium would not be out of place among the great pulps of yesteryear.


Trillium is two stories, told in two genres, across two chapters, tied together by the titular flower.  The first half  focuses on Nika - a scientist in the far future on a distant planet - who has been forced to step-up her timetable on making peaceful contact with an alien species.  The aliens control a flower that may be mankind's only hope of combating a sentient space plague that has already reduced humanity's numbers to mere thousands and Nika has been given only a few days to win the flower through negotiation before soldiers are sent in to take it.

The second chapter is set on Earth in the 1920's, where traumatized English soldier William leads an expedition in Peru.  Their goal?  Discover a lost temple which native legend claims houses a flower that grants health and happiness - perhaps even eternal life!  


Lemire's stories are pure pulp goodness and I'm not talking about orange juice!  Both stories stand well on their own merits and would serve as fine examples of genre writing were they to stand alone.  Put together, they promise an interesting tale to be told in the upcoming issues as the worlds and concerns of our two heroes collide. 

Readers who only know Lemire from his writing for various DC Comics projects may be astonished to discover he is as versatile an artist as he is a writer  Lemire depicts the desert wastes of a desolate world within viewing range of a black hole as skillfully as he does the jungles of the Amazon.  His characters are distinctive and his visuals memorable.       


Bottom Line: This is a damn good book and I'll be picking up the rest of the series.  If you're a fan of classic science fiction and adventure pulps or Lemire's work on Green Arrow and Animal Man, you should definitely give Trillium a try. 

Thor: The Dark World Trailer.

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Ok. I'll go see this in the theaters now.

Power of The Valkyrie, Part Four

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PREVIOUSLY, ON POWER OF THE VALKYRIE...

Our heroine Suzanne is confronted by the warrior woman Emu, who was meant to inherit the Power of the Valkyrie that Odin accidentally gave Suzanne back in the first issue, though he now claims it was all part of his plan to bring the world of man into the eternal battle between Odin and Loki.  This is all according to Thor, who somehow knows all this despite knowing nothing of Odin's plans in Issue Two.  Thor also explains to Suzanne the TRUE power of the Valkyrie is raising the dead - a fact that enables Suzanne to kill Emu after she summons a horde of ghostly vikings.

Pissed off about the whole affair, Suzanne says she doesn't want anything to do with any of this and tells Odin that she wants to go home.  He agrees to open the way to Earth if she'll agree to hide the magical sword that may or may not contain the true Power of the Valkyrie somewhere Loki can't find it.  She tosses it into a lake and thinks that's that.  Unfortunately, Loki's spies (who were disguised as Agents Scully and Mulder from The X-Files) figure out that Suzanne has returned to Earth and notify Loki of this fact.  And so the comic ends with Loki planning to bring his entire army to Earth to search for the sword.

Read Parts One and Part Twoand Part ThreeIt won't make any of this clearer but I need the hits.


Our story opens with another flashback to Suzanne's childhood.  We see her in the hospital as doctors work to save her sister, who was hit by a car while chasing a ball Suzanne threw out into the road.  This really has nothing to do with the story except for giving Suzanne another weird speech about blood and its' importance in healing people, so I'm not going to bother showing it.

Our story actually begins several pages later as Pegasus appears on Suzanne's front lawn as she contemplates why she can't get Asgard out of her head after three days.  She quickly figures out, in grand Lassie/Flipper tradition, that Pegasus has come to warn her that Loki is close to the sword.  If you're wondering why the sword is so important since they clearly showed the power was inside Suzanne in the first issue or how Pegasus was able to travel between worlds when it took powerful magic or the power of a god to do that before, congratulations - you've paid closer attention to the story than the people who wrote it!



Suzanne arrives at the lake and summons the sword to her hand.  She is then greeted by The Valkyrie Spirit.  Yes, there's a Valkyrie Spirit now.  The Valkyrie Spirit tells Suzanne of how the first valkyries acted as healers to dying male warriors and bodyguards as they went into the afterlife, because even if you're a badass warrior woman you're still expected to be subservient to men.

...

Have I mentioned before how much I really hate this book as a feminist and as a Norse mythology buff?   


Before we can find out how there are multiple Valkyries when the comic treats the power of the Valkyrie as something that can only be wielded by one woman at a time, Gideon shows up.  You know?  Gideon?  The shape-shifting demon who was disguised as Agent Mulder?  It turns out that he was Emu's love and he's out for revenge on Suzanne. 


Wait... he was Emu's love?  But I thought she was dating Thor!  And Loki called her 'my love' as he cremated her body last issue!   Damn.  I guess Emu got around.  So much for that myth about valkyries being chaste.


Um... the Valkyrie didn't chose you!  Odin stumbled across you by accident!  Or he chose you!  Hell, I don't know anymore!  I don't care anymore, either...

Anyway, the battle goes about as well as you'd expect, given Suzanne's track record fighting demons so far.  Gideon dies but Suzanne is shot with arrows in the back while she's running Gideon through.  The sword flies out of her hand and is levitated into the hand of Loki.


Huh.  That's weird.  The artwork doesn't  match the captions at all.  Suzanne doesn't fall into the water.  And the rest of the dialogue seems like an odd non-sequitur, even for this comic.


Did anyone else hear an echo just now?  The hypothermia must be getting to Suzanne.  She's repeating herself.  Either that or she's developing Torgo-ism. I mean, the only other explanation is ...

...

Oh my gods.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am flabbergasted!

We've seen some bad continuity in this comic. This writers can't decide if the Power of The Valkyrie is in Suzanne or her sword.  The artist can't decide if Pegasus has wings or not.  Hell, for the first two issues, we didn't even know for certain what our heroine's name was or how it was spelled!  But this... this is an achievement in incompetence.  Not only did this comic go to press as a monthly title with the dialogue balloons for one page printed twice across different artwork, but Bluewater Productions couldn't be bothered to fix the mistake in the trade paperback collection of this series!

To quote Joel Hodgson, "They just didn't care!"


Suzanne jumps out of the ice and starts to struggle with Loki over the sword.  Suddenly, Odin, Thor and a bunch of burly vikings show up and begin fighting the demons.  Odin commands her to join him in battle.  Suzanne, not surprisingly, gets pissed off.  And she summon a bunch of viking ghosts who break the frozen lake everyone is standing on, sending them tumbling into the water like so many preppies in an 1980s frat comedy.


To make a long story short (too late), Suzanne orders Loki and Odin to play nice or she'll use her power to destroy them both.  Thor warns her that the peace she's created is temporary and that sooner or later the power will have to pass to another and that he and Odin will be waiting for that day. 

The comic ends with Suzanne visiting her sister's grave, where we finally learn our heroine's last name.  She says something about her memories of her sister keeping her sane through this ordeal which doesn't make a lick of sense since all they seemed to do was make her angry, but whatever.  The story ends with Suzanne having a power she doesn't really understand, no direction as to what to do with it and no particular purpose or inclination to use it to help people - not surprising since Suzanne's only consistent desire in this whole story is to be left alone and not have people telling her what to do.


Power Of The Valkyrie is a waste of time.  Poorly written, badly drawn, completely unoriginal and totally inaccurate to the mythology it is "based" upon.  It lacks continuity.  It lacks coherence.  It lacks any reason to exist, save serving as fodder for smart-ass Internet comic book critics.

You want to know the sad thing?  This isn't even the worst comic I've read that Bluewater Productions has published.  We'll get to that book another day...

The Blackbeard Legacy - Part One

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Avast, ye swabs!  'Tis clear to your Captain that ye be too stout of heart to be properly traumatized by the likes of Power Of The Valkyrie. 'Twas a bad comic, to be sure!  Yet for all the problems that book had, at least it's characters looked broadly human - save for the ones that were demons, of course.

This next bit of swill has no such blessing.  The Blackbeard Legacy be another cursed book from the dirty seas ironically named Bluewater Productions. The art be by a scurvy lubber by the name of  Mike Maydak, whose artwork looks to have been hurriedly painted by a blind man. This might be crime enough, save Maydak also has a fondness for drawing womenfolk in scanty dress, yet seems to have never seen a woman before in his life.

And lest ye had any hopes that the story might be amusing though the art be bad, it be co-written by Captain Darren G. Davis.  Captain Davis be the CEO and Publisher of Bluewater Productions and was half the creative team behind Power Of The Valkyrie.  This time his First Mate on the writing duties be Scott Davis, who serves as Captain Davis' Media Manager.   Two writers and no editor - a sign of doom as sure as red skies in morning!

Let's be to it, then!  Spy yon the cover of the cursed book!


Not a bad sort of cover, in truth.  Trying for a Luis Royo look, methinks.  I'm a bit perplexed as to where this pirate wench's nipples have wandered off to, given the size of her chest and where her shirt be opened up.  At least she looks human if a bit underfed.  And lest ye think Captain be going soft in his old age, known I mean it looks decent only compared to the rest of this book.  This cover be the best bit of artwork in the whole cursed thing.

Don't believe me?  Behold the chapter page!  

Insert your own joke about "booty" and "treasured chests" here.


Worry not about the tentacles in that first page, mateys!  There be no Hentai in this work, though it may be as unpleasant as octopus rape by the time we reach the end of our journey.

Our first page opens by telling us what kind of tale this isn't going to be and also establishes our setting as Free Port Township of Grand Bahama in May 1718.  That groaning noise you just heard came from a thousand pirate history scholars, who know that Free Port Township of Grand Bahama wasn't founded until 1955. Those who were hoping for a pirate story with some broad historical accuracy best turn back now.  The seas only get rougher from here. 

What does it say about Bluewater Productions that I'm not altogether sure if  the sentence "Well, this ain't of them stories." is an honest grammar mistake (Methinks there should be a "one' in there somewhere) or if it's just the writer half-assing his pirate dialect  Both possibilities are equally likely.  I'll just assume it was a mistake - that's always the safest bet when Bluewater be involved.

With the turn of a page, we see our heroine for the first time... having freshly serviced some jaundiced specimen of what I can only assume to be humanity.  His general shape and skin-tone suggests there may be a bit of Deep One in his ancestry.  Or it would if we were in Innsmouth and not Free Port.. 


All appearances to the contrary, Hannah is no whore.  Her only reason for making all cozy-like with this scum was to steal his logbook.  Unfortunately for him, he wakes up in the midst of Hannah plundering his charts and he gets an amazing view before getting a headache, as Hanna brains him with a candlestick.

Hurriedly dressing and giving us a view of her ample ass-cleavage as she does so, Hannah thinks of her mother - who saw her get a proper schooling - and her father, who she says is an adventurer and pirate like herself.  More of the pirate from what we've seen so far but she does show her adventurer roots as she goes downstairs to where all adventures begin - a seedy tavern.

And suddenly we find ourselves in a Conan The Barbarian comic...  

Actually, this DOES look familiar... but it isn't Conan.  Something pirate themed with a bunch of bizarrely misshapen characters with odd skin and eye colors?  What does it look like?


... no.  That looks more realistic.  Even with the monkeybird.

Hannah is spotted - somehow - by a blind bounty hunter - an equally busty pirate wench sporting two cutlasses and a blindfold.  Hannah convinces her that it would be more profitable to work for her since the log book she just stole leads to a fortune beyond imagining.  Unfortunately it's at this point that the captain's minions notice what's happened and sound the alarm.   

Now, I know I already warned ye about the artwork on this cursed book.  And yet, even steeling himself, your Captain can't help be be astonished by this last page.  Hannah's suddenly turned into a cyclops and it took your Captain about a minute of squinting to realize the odd panels were meant to be saying "KILL HER!"

The blind bounty hunter proves good at her craft, killing all the underlings.  She and Hanna scamper for the docks as Hannah considers how the log book doesn't really lead to a treasure.  It DOES recall everyplace the captain she stole it from had been and who he had met, which could be more valuable - at least to Hannah.  This be all the explanation we get for the moment as Hannah busies herself with planning on how to overcome their next difficulty - stealing a ship with only two people to do the stealing.

Hannah sketches out the plan in the dirt, despite her new bodyguard pointing out she's blind and can't see it..  She also draws herself and the bounty hunter as stick figures with cartoonishly huge boobs, for no readily apparent reason other than so we know who they are.


Thankfully, Hannah's intricate and silly-looking plan proves unnecessary, as she comes to depend upon that noblest of all pirate traditions - greed winning out over good sense and loyalty always going to the highest bidder.  Particularly since the ship she's taken a shine to - The Vengeance - belongs to the same captain she waylaid earlier in the evening and the crew on-board are anxious to find new employment.

Unfortunately, the current captain has recovered and somehow taken command of a fortress overlooking the bay.  Fortunately for Hannah, his cannons are set up directly in front of a large collection of powder kegs.  All it takes is one good shot with the canons to blow the fortress up in a display to make Michael Bay green with envy. 


And so, with the loyalty of her new crew assured and their rivals blown to the four winds, this chapter of our tale ends as Hannah tells us more of her father.... and why she's questing in the first place. 


Don't think this is so bad, me hearties?  It gets worse.  Much worse. 

Earth 2 #15 - A Review

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For all the hype Trinity War, Forever Evil and Batman: Year Zero have received, I think the only story DC Comics is telling right now worthy of the name epic is being told in the pages of Earth 2.  The vast collection of New 52 titles read like disparate stories forced together unnaturally into a shared universe.  Earth 2 is different, making the reader believe they are being given a glimpse into a vibrant, preexisting world.





This month's issue may seem like a collection of unrelated super-powered battles on the surface but writer James Robinson gives the material a depth rarely seen these days.  The plot of the issue deals with four separate groups of heroes combating a second invasion by the super-powered villains of Apokolips but Robinson's subplots and complex characterization make the action all the richer.  Robinson is one of the few writers I think who could balance such huge story concepts as the romance between Mister Miracle and Big Barda, the revelation that Gotham City is now a savage land roamed by dinosaurs and a battle with Wonder Woman's brainwashed daughter all together in a single scene.


Nicola Scott is similarly underrated.  Her character designs for every character in this series have been gorgeous and unique, conveying the basic idea for some long-established characters while still remaining true to the basic concept   Big Barda's armor, for instance, looks more like real armor than ever before yet the basic form of Jack Kirby's design remains intact.

Earth 2 is one of DC Comics best-hidden treasures.  It's a great read if you like dynamic stories full of action and the artwork is always excellent.  However, what will keep you coming back month after month is the relationships between the characters and the sensation you are truly peeking into another complex universe.

King Conan: The Hour of The Dragon #3 - A Review

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The tale of Zenobia is a literal rags-to-riches story.  Born and raised to serve in the harems of royalty, she had a strength and fire that seemed incongruous to her position and upbringing.  Despite this, Conan placed her in his affections as highly as his other great love - the pirate queen, Belit - and this issue of King Conan showcases precisely why a simple slave girl earned such fierce devotion.


What Tim Truman has written here in his adaptation of the classic Robert E. Howard story is a true romance in every definition of the word.  Howard's writing is Romantic in the classical sense, with his reoccurring themes of Nature vs. Civilization, a focus on individuals over society and an emphasis on strong emotions (i.e. the "gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth" of Conan).  Yet this chapter also satisfies the modern definition of a romantic tale, with Conan cast as the bare-chested epitome of passionate manliness and Zenobia as the strong-willed heroine.  Thankfully, the action of the story keeps the characters from slipping into cliche and the story does work on both levels.


The artwork by Tomas Giorello and Jose Villarrubia equals the quality of Truman's script.  Giorello's pencils are naturally clear and he's a maste rat using his inks to obscure the visuals in just the right way to leave things appropriate moody and threatening without drowning the page in ink.  Colorist Villarrubia offers a surprising subtlety in his palette, using brighter colors in his depiction of Zenboa relative to the rest of the art.  Is this symbollic of the ray of light she brings to Conan in his darkest hour or merely a reflection of the colorful attire standard to her life?  Either way, the visual is effective.


Green Arrow #23 - A Review

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The plot thickens in Green Arrow #23 as we discover more about the mysterious group known as The Outsiders who have apparently been manipulating Ollie since birth and his family for generations.  We also learn the full story of the mysterious assassin Shado and her relationship with Ollie's father.  We even get another check-in on the crime bosses of Seattle, where it seems another classic figure from the martial arts world of the old DC Comics universe has finally made an appearance in The New 52.


It's odd how Jeff Lemire has taken a number of the trappings of classic Green Arrow and used them to forge something that is entirely new yet feels like the the classic Mike Grell comics of old.  This version of Oliver Queen may not a perpetually pissed-off aging hippie and his relationship with Shado may be complicated in an entirely different way, yet the complication is still there.  Shado is much the same as she was under Grell's pen, even if the son she would risk all for is now a daughter. 


Andrea Sorrentino's artwork also reminds me of Mike Grell's work, yet Sorrentino has an aesthetic all his own.  Like Grell, Sorrentino is a master at fitting the maximum amount of detail into some surprisingly small panels.  Both artists are also skilled anatomists.  Yet Sorrentino separates himself from Grell through some clever coloring choices that throw the realism of his character designs into sharp relief one panel at a time. 

Batman Annual #2 - A Review

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Some of the best Batman stories ever told came from the perspective of a character other than our Dark Knight Detective.  Batman Annual #2 is such a story.  Our P.O.V. character is Eric - an idealistic new orderly who has an encounter with both the legendary Batman and the first inmate Arkham Asylum ever housed on his first night on-the-job.


The script by Marguerite Bennett (co-plotted by Bennet with Scott Snyder) is wonderful on all fronts.  The idea that Batman bears some responsibility for the creation of many of the villains he faces has been explored before but I don't recall any Batman story that proposed that his presence created a philosophical shift from treatment to punishment as the villain/victim of this piece suggests.  Said victim/villain, The Anchoress, is a worthy addition to Batman's Rogues Gallery, with powers enough to be difficult for Batman to face in a direct fight and a psychological defect unlike anything we've seen in previous Batman baddies. 


Would that the artwork of this issue matched its' story in quality!  The pencils of Wes Craig (most recently seen in World's Finest) are skillful enough and his character designs are clear as are his depictions of the action.  Yet with six inkers having worked on this issue, there is a certain lack of continuity to the artwork as the story progresses. 

Thankfully, the artwork never looks bad - just uneven.  Any who doubt the power an inker has to make or break a comic would do well to read this issue and observe the differences in inking technique on various pages.  Regardless, the inking issues do not detract from the story itself and this comic was a most enjoyable read. 

Green Lantern #23 - A Review

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The previous issues of Green Lantern have set up a number of problems for newly appointed GL Corps leader Hal Jordan to deal with, including a new batch of rookie Lanterns that seemed ill-equipped for service, a new recruit who died before anybody found out who he was and where he was from, a mysterious energy fluctuation that causes their power rings to deactivate at random and an escaped prisoner.  Being a man of action and simple tastes, Hal wants to deal with the prisoner first since that seems to be a problem he can solve.  As usual, things are more complicated than Hal knows and what seems to be an easy capture will prove to be anything but simple.



There are two ways Green Lantern has traditionally been written in the past.  One way is as a cosmic space opera, with gigantic enemies and the colossal power of the Green Lanterns emphasized.  The other way is to view it as a cop drama that just happens to focus upon a police force with superpowers whose beat is the entire universe.  Geoff Johns took the former view and it seems Robert Venditti is taking the later.  Venditti's script does a fine job of revealing the personalities of the various Lanterns casually through their conversations and there's a good balance between action, drama and humor.  One can almost hear Nathan Fillion's voice reading Hal Jordan's dialogue.



Green Lantern demands much of an artist but Billy Tan seems capable of meeting and exceeding those demands.  Tan easily depicts the exotic aliens and unusual ring constructs that the story requires.  Praise must also be paid to inker Rob Hunter, who does a fine job of highlighting Tan's original pencils and enhancing the mood of the story without obscuring the action in ink.

Injustice: Gods Among Us #28-30 - A Review

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Irony abounds in Injustice: Gods Among Us. Consider how this comic is based on a video game made by the people responsible for Mortal Kombat– a game series better known for excessive violence than complex characterization. Yet writer Tom Taylor has offered some truly deep character analysis over the course of this series. There is also irony in the fact that Taylor’s take on the characters involved seems more like the classic, pre-New 52 versions of many of DC Comics most popular characters despite the series being set in the dystopian future of an alternate DC Universe.



There is a further irony in how well Taylor balances the horror of this setting with several moments of genuine humor.  Consider how Superman and his Regime are able to find a way to expose Batman's secret identity to the world after Batman disables all the broadcast media in the world through the power of social media in Injustice #28 and contrast that with the terrifying battle between Superman, Wonder Woman and Martian Manhunter in Injustice #29.  Given a setting in which all the rules can be broken and where many of the characters are acting contrary to their nature, Taylor paradoxically allows us to analyze the core of what each character should be.


A good example of this analysis can be found in Injustice #30 - a comic I'll gladly place besides Joe Kelly's What's So Funny About Truth, Justice And The American Way? and Grant Morrison's All Star Superman as one of the greatest Superman stories of all time.  The story is told through the eyes of an ordinary teenager in Metropolis as he recalls the hero Superman used to be and the man he became later.  I don't know if Taylor wrote this as a response to the recent Man of Steel movie but I definitely agree with the sentiment of preferring the Superman who will stop to help a boy with his broken bike over the man we see in the comics of Scott Lobdell. 


The artwork is as excellent as the writing.  Tom Derenick, Mike S. Miller and Bruno Redondo have completely different styles but each delivers epic-worthy artwork in their own way.  In a better world of tomorrow, perhaps we'll see them working on other books with Tom Taylor?  My preferences would be Justice League, some manner of Superman title and a classic Green Arrow book.

The Gamers: Hands Of Fate - A Review

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Cass is an old-school table-top gamer, with little patience for card-gamers, LARPers and... well, pretty much anything and everything that interferes with his weekly game night.  His tune quickly changes after he sees Natalie - a gamer grrrrrl who is as skilled with a card deck as she is at dealing out snark to any man who dares question her cred.  When Natalie rebuffs his advances and sarcastically agrees to go out on a date if he can win the Romance Of The Nine Empires tournament at GenCon, Cass embarks on a quest to learn the game, build a winning deck and secure a place in the national finals. 

At the same time in the magical land of Countermay, the warrior princess Myriad has become troubled.  Her land is besieged by armies of the undead and dark forces seem to plague her people, ruining corps and blighting the land itself.  More, she can't help but shake the feeling that her life is continually repeating itself, as if she were living the same day over and over.  Most disturbing of all are the visions of her own death and the destruction of her kingdom - visions that seem more like memories half-forgotten than dreams.

What is the connection between Myriad's troubles and Cass's quest?  Will Myriad save her father's kingdom from the enemies that surround her and the increasingly fickle nature of her reality?  Will the stubborn Cass find something worth fighting for besides bragging rights?  Only the Hands of Fate know for certain...




Those who enjoyed The Gamers andThe Gamers: Dorkness Rising will not be disappointed by this latest entry in the series.  Despite the shift in focus from role-playing games to card-games, the basic plot of the movie will still be accessible to those (like Cass) who are more familiar with Pathfinder or Dungeons and Dragons than Warlord and Legend of the Five Rings as well as gaming noobs.  While the plot this time is a bit more serious and focused on the real world drama between those who play for prestige and prizes versus those who play for the love of the game, there's still plenty of humor - both in-jokes for the die-hard gamers and situational humor involving furries, conventions and the usual random madness one should expect in a Gamers movie.

Bottom Line: If you're a geek or gamer of any stripe, you should give The Gamers: Hands Of Fate a view.  The film will be available through instant streaming for free starting August 15th through August 31st at http://watchthegamers.com/.


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